Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
