yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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