Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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