I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
