Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
the raccoons are back...
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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