you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
