haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
