OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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