Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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