That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
