The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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