Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
