Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
