i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
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