I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
