how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
my sisters under your porch take her home
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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