FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
