As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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