PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
