Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
