Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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