every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
