I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
