It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
