Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Nobody cheats on THIS.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
