I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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