Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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