Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
