Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
