SEEEEXXX PLEASE
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
