i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
