what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
