dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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