So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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