you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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