Whoa Z and x make the same sound
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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