porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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