You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
