and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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