i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
