I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
