Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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