ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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