i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
