dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
We named our party play list daddy issues
i will never coherently bang her
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
