It's like God shit irony all over that family
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
