hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
