he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
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