Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
