i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
