I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
