I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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