so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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